The Marriage Alliance of Central Virginia
Building Stronger Families Through Stronger Marriages For A Stronger Community.
News
10 Great Dates article in Lynchburg News & Advance
"Great dates: helping couples reconnect"
By Liz Barry
lbarry@newsadvance.com
Friday, December 14, 2007
It is never too late to date.
That’s the gist of the “10 Great Dates” program, designed to help couples reclaim the spark in their marriage. Larry Compter, executive director of the Marriage Alliance of Central Virginia, launched the program at Grace Free Evangelical Church this fall. “There’s a marriage taboo,” Compter says. “People don’t talk about their marriages.”
To counter this taboo, “10 Great Dates” helps couples explore their relationships - what works and what needs to improve.
Here’s how it works. On the first Friday of each month, couples gather at the church to watch a relationship-themed video (childcare is provided by the church). After a short debriefing, they head out on dates.
Dec. 7 marked the fourth round of dates. The theme changes each month. The first three focused on the building blocks of relationships: communication, conflict management and being intentional about marriage; December’s theme is becoming an encourager for your spouse.
Compter encourages the couples to discuss the issues brought up in the video while they are on the dates.
More than 10 couples sit at tables in a church classroom decorated for Christmas. They’ve just finished watching the video and are about to head out. Hassan and Betsy Thomas are still undecided on their date destination. Married for two and a half years, the couple heard about the program through their church.
For Hassan, the program has reminded him about the give and take necessary for healthy relationships. For Betsy, it’s reminded her to appreciate the small things.
Jamie and Kim Mitchell, married for five years, will head to The Villa, a nearby Italian restaurant. At one point during their marriage, Jamie was working 90- to 100-hour weeks. The couple did not have much time to spend together.
Jamie has since switched jobs, but Kim has demanding hours as a biomedical research student at the University of Virginia.
“It guarantees that we will have a date at least once a month,” Kim says.
“10 Great Dates” is one of several programs sponsored by the Marriage Alliance of Central Virginia, a faith-based nonprofit organization. Other programs range from advice for singles, like “How to Avoid Marrying a Jerk or Jerkette,” to workshops for troubled marriages.
The Marriage Alliance is an outgrowth of the Lynchburg Area Marriage Covenant, which was signed in 2001 by a group of local clergy pledging to provide more marriage support and to encourage couples to date for at least a year before marriage. Compter says clergy were concerned that churches were becoming “wedding factories.”
“The people in their pews were splitting up,” Compter says. “Families were falling apart. There was a lot of fallout from that.”
Compter, who quit his job of over 30 years to lead the Marriage Alliance, says that programs like “10 Great Dates” can do a lot for a relationship.
“Soul mates are made, not born,” he says.
FOR MORE INFORMATION:
Visit www.marriagealliance.org or call (434) 455-2117.
Relationship skills for teens
Larry Compter, Executive Director, was invited by the Churches for Urban Ministry (C.U.M.) in Lynchburg to participate in Camp Timothy - a summer program for inner-city youth that has been operated by C.U.M. for over 50 years. Larry worked with the oldest group of young people - 11 to 14-year-olds, teaching them basic relationship skills such as respect, communication, ways to encourage one another and how to voice concerns in a gentle and respectful way, rather than through anger or "put-downs". This class of very bright students learned a lot, and the staff of Camp Timothy was extremely pleased with the outcomes. Larry has already been invited back for next summer, and is looking forward to it!
If you would like Larry to make a presentation or do a workshop with your youth, please call us!
Marriage Alliance Moves To New Office
For the last few years, the MACV office has been in the home of the Executive Director, Larry Compter. But thanks to the generosity of one of our Covenant Partners, we now have a REAL office! Grace Church has recently completed the renovation of their new church building on Timberlake Road. They completely remodeled the old Strother Drug building for use as sanctuary, education and office space. In the process, they had some extra space they didn't need (for the moment, at least - they are growing fast, though!). So they offered us an office in the front part of the building. We now have a place to store our resource materials, and a very nice space for the Executive Director and volunteers to work. They have even allowed us to "borrow" meeting room space when needed, for workshops and such.
Note that we remain an independent, nonpartisan, and nonsectarian organization. This new "living arrangement" does not constitute any "official" connection between MACV and Grace Church, except that they are one of our strong Covenant Partners, and we deeply appreciate this donation of office space.
Come by and see us when you're in the area! Unfortunately, until we get some additional staff, the office hours are somewhat irregular, so call first if you can. But if not, just come on!